Monday, January 07, 2008
Happy Birthday Barrett!!
Barrett turned 14 this morning @ 6:27. In some ways, it seems like I blinked my eyes and here we are 14yrs later. And in other ways that seems like a lifetime ago. Approx. 6 wks before Barrett was born, Lon's dad, Loren passed away in the hospice after a battle with cancer. So, for the most part, when I remember my pregnancy, I remember being sad. Lon & I had prayed so fervently that Loren would live long enough to see his 16th grandchild, but it was not to be. Loren passed away in November 1993. Also, in October 1993, one of our dear friend's father committed suicide. She was pregnant, too. Her son was born a couple of months after Barrett. Then, in December 93, a friend I had grown up with, who had been my best friend in gradeschool, passed away from an unknown illness. She was buried in early Jan. 94, a few days before Barrett was born. She was only 29. It just seemed like the main thing I used my maternity clothes for was to attend funerals. There were some happy times, too. The day after Loren's funeral, on December 1st, 1993, my nephew Corbin, was born. To this day, he is Barrett's best friend, they are more like brothers than cousins. And, also on that day, we closed on our first home. It was so exciting to be in our own home right before our first child was born. We had many happy times in that house. I still miss it sometimes and drive by often. Anyway, the day of Barrett's birth didn't go exactly as planned. (Do they ever?) His heart beat starting going down with every contraction, so they decided to deliver him by C-section, and at 6:27 am, Barrett McKee was born with the cord wrapped around his neck and looking like the bluest little smurf you ever saw. Thank goodness we did the C-section when we did, but he recovered within minutes and was fine. It was a happy day in the Packard family for once. Lon's mother, Donna, was there. She was absolutely crazy about babies. She called them her "itty bitties". And this particular "itty bitty" was her baby's baby. (Lon is the youngest of 7!!!) Sadly, she passed away, also from cancer, when Barrett was 2. So, as I'm thumbing thru the scrapbook, those pics of her at the hospital, after his birth, are extra special. It's so funny, everybody looks so young in these pictures, especially Lon!! Also, my sister-in-law--Luain looked so young (not that she looks old now, not at all, she still looks great!) but we all just looked so young. Luain was one of the first ones to see Barrett, because she worked at the hospital. Anyway, there was lots of family there and it was a memorable time. And now, here we are 14 yrs later. Even though I miss those sweet baby times, I have enjoyed every stage with my kids. It is so much fun now to relate to them on a more adult level. Their sense of humor and personalities are so much fun. Just when you think you have them figured out, they develop a new "wrinkle" in their personality. Well, God has been good to us in the last 14 yrs. We are blessed. Happy Birthday, Barrett. We love you so much.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
2008
Well, the hurry & rush of Christmas is over and the new year is here. I know it is such cliche, but, where does the time go? This time of year always makes me a little wistful (along with the end of the school year and the end of summer.) This year is no different. I always wish for a time machine to go back and snuggle my babies when they were actually babies for just a little while. I don't think I appreciated that time near enough. But, at the same time, I want to fully appreciate now and not waste it being wistful about the past. Still.....a time machine would be great, for maybe an hour or two.
This year has been a blessed one for our family, for the most part, everyone is healthy. Lon's business has stayed strong, despite the downturn in the real estate market. My father, who Lon works for, was diagnosed with Parkinson's dx, but, despite a small tremor, he continues to be able to work, and we are thankful for that. Barrett had a small surgery in November to "re-route" some blood vessels and that went well, thanks for the many prayers for him. He has hit his growth spurt and is now taller than Gracen for the first time in a couple of years, for which he is very thankful. He played football again this year and his team (8th gr. de Zavala Wolves) went undefeated until the championship game, where they lost their first game in 2 yrs. It was probably good for them to lose, they were starting to take winning for granted. But, his main sport continues to be baseball. This spring will be Lon's last year to coach his team, which will be bittersweet for them both. Barrett will be a 9th grader at Tascosa next year....I'm not ready for that, to say the least! Gracen is playing volleyball and loves it quite a bit, however, her true love is for animals, particularly, horses. Last year, a friend of ours, who is a member of Range Riders, gave her lessons on riding and general "horse knowledge" until his horse, Gus, got hurt roping. We hope to continue those when Gus is feeling better. I can't even tell you how much that girl loves animals! This year her gerbil, Pepper died, after a long life. Saying she was devastated would be an understatement. So, for Christmas, all she wanted was a pair of guinea pigs to take Pepper's place. I told her unequivocally "NO!!!", but for weeks, she kept begging, leaving me notes all over the house saying "Please get your one and only daughter a guinea pig for Christmas!!" or she would walk by me and quickly whisper in my ear as she went by "guinea pig!!" I stood my ground and said NO, but her daddy succumbed to her charms and told me..."She's a good kid who never asks for much....if she wants a guinea pig, she's getting a guinea pig." So, off to Petsmart we went, the Friday before Christmas, to get the "pigs". She raced past me in the parking lot and by the time I caught up to her at the guinea pig cage, she had already decided which ones she wanted! Soon, we had "Jasper" & "Eddie" and all their accoutrement and were on our way home. She was ecstatic!! So.....fast forward to the next Friday, Dec. 28th. We were going out to Lon's brothers house to see some of the Packard cousins who live out of town. Lon stayed home because he wasn 't feeling well, so I gave him some Nyquil and the kids & I headed out. We were there for several hours. When we got home, Gracen went to her room and started shrieking and crying. The door to Jasper & Eddie's cage was open and they were no where to be found. Lon came staggering in from his Nyquil-induced coma. We told her to calm down, they had to be there somewhere. So we started searching her room, all the while trying to figure out what happened. It became apparent that Maizie, our weenie dog, had gotten the cage open, somehow. I found Jaspers body in the laundry room, he was dead, but not mangled. Gracen was hysterical. We kept searching for Eddie, I was hoping maybe he was alive, somewhere, having run for his life. We searched until well past midnite, no Eddie. Finally, Gracen cried herself to sleep. We got up the next am and cont the search. First, her closet, no luck. Then the hall closet, again, no luck. So, I got down on my knees and said a prayer, asking God to please lead us to find him. The next place I looked was Barrett's closet and sure enough, there he was buried under all the clothes in the corner, but unfortunately, he also was dead, though not mangled. I was so mad at Maizie, I couldn't even see straight. I was screaming at her and telling how bad she was. But, my sweet daughter.....she was crying and begging me not to be mean to Maizie. She said "Momma, she was only doing what is her instinct." and she hugged and loved on Maizie and told her it was OK. At that point God was showing me that my children are much better people than me, with much kinder, more forgiving hearts. I was amazed at how Gracen was able to forgive so easily after Maizie had done such a horrible thing. She said "Momma, Jasper & Eddie look just like Maizie's toy hedge hog and she was probably just wanting to play with them." Even though she was immersed in grief, she still was able to immediately forgive. What a Christ-like attitude. I need to work on that for myself. I'm not one to make resolutions, but I am going to try to emulate the sweet spirit of my daughter this year. I am thankful to God for the blessings as well as the trials that 2007 brought, I feel like I am closer to Him now than when I started the year and this time next year, I hope to be even closer to Him still. He showed me that He cares about every detail, even about missing guinea pigs. And I know that whatever 2008 brings, He will grant me the grace to handle it as He is ever transforming me into His image. I pray His blessings on your and yours this year. Love, Susan
This year has been a blessed one for our family, for the most part, everyone is healthy. Lon's business has stayed strong, despite the downturn in the real estate market. My father, who Lon works for, was diagnosed with Parkinson's dx, but, despite a small tremor, he continues to be able to work, and we are thankful for that. Barrett had a small surgery in November to "re-route" some blood vessels and that went well, thanks for the many prayers for him. He has hit his growth spurt and is now taller than Gracen for the first time in a couple of years, for which he is very thankful. He played football again this year and his team (8th gr. de Zavala Wolves) went undefeated until the championship game, where they lost their first game in 2 yrs. It was probably good for them to lose, they were starting to take winning for granted. But, his main sport continues to be baseball. This spring will be Lon's last year to coach his team, which will be bittersweet for them both. Barrett will be a 9th grader at Tascosa next year....I'm not ready for that, to say the least! Gracen is playing volleyball and loves it quite a bit, however, her true love is for animals, particularly, horses. Last year, a friend of ours, who is a member of Range Riders, gave her lessons on riding and general "horse knowledge" until his horse, Gus, got hurt roping. We hope to continue those when Gus is feeling better. I can't even tell you how much that girl loves animals! This year her gerbil, Pepper died, after a long life. Saying she was devastated would be an understatement. So, for Christmas, all she wanted was a pair of guinea pigs to take Pepper's place. I told her unequivocally "NO!!!", but for weeks, she kept begging, leaving me notes all over the house saying "Please get your one and only daughter a guinea pig for Christmas!!" or she would walk by me and quickly whisper in my ear as she went by "guinea pig!!" I stood my ground and said NO, but her daddy succumbed to her charms and told me..."She's a good kid who never asks for much....if she wants a guinea pig, she's getting a guinea pig." So, off to Petsmart we went, the Friday before Christmas, to get the "pigs". She raced past me in the parking lot and by the time I caught up to her at the guinea pig cage, she had already decided which ones she wanted! Soon, we had "Jasper" & "Eddie" and all their accoutrement and were on our way home. She was ecstatic!! So.....fast forward to the next Friday, Dec. 28th. We were going out to Lon's brothers house to see some of the Packard cousins who live out of town. Lon stayed home because he wasn 't feeling well, so I gave him some Nyquil and the kids & I headed out. We were there for several hours. When we got home, Gracen went to her room and started shrieking and crying. The door to Jasper & Eddie's cage was open and they were no where to be found. Lon came staggering in from his Nyquil-induced coma. We told her to calm down, they had to be there somewhere. So we started searching her room, all the while trying to figure out what happened. It became apparent that Maizie, our weenie dog, had gotten the cage open, somehow. I found Jaspers body in the laundry room, he was dead, but not mangled. Gracen was hysterical. We kept searching for Eddie, I was hoping maybe he was alive, somewhere, having run for his life. We searched until well past midnite, no Eddie. Finally, Gracen cried herself to sleep. We got up the next am and cont the search. First, her closet, no luck. Then the hall closet, again, no luck. So, I got down on my knees and said a prayer, asking God to please lead us to find him. The next place I looked was Barrett's closet and sure enough, there he was buried under all the clothes in the corner, but unfortunately, he also was dead, though not mangled. I was so mad at Maizie, I couldn't even see straight. I was screaming at her and telling how bad she was. But, my sweet daughter.....she was crying and begging me not to be mean to Maizie. She said "Momma, she was only doing what is her instinct." and she hugged and loved on Maizie and told her it was OK. At that point God was showing me that my children are much better people than me, with much kinder, more forgiving hearts. I was amazed at how Gracen was able to forgive so easily after Maizie had done such a horrible thing. She said "Momma, Jasper & Eddie look just like Maizie's toy hedge hog and she was probably just wanting to play with them." Even though she was immersed in grief, she still was able to immediately forgive. What a Christ-like attitude. I need to work on that for myself. I'm not one to make resolutions, but I am going to try to emulate the sweet spirit of my daughter this year. I am thankful to God for the blessings as well as the trials that 2007 brought, I feel like I am closer to Him now than when I started the year and this time next year, I hope to be even closer to Him still. He showed me that He cares about every detail, even about missing guinea pigs. And I know that whatever 2008 brings, He will grant me the grace to handle it as He is ever transforming me into His image. I pray His blessings on your and yours this year. Love, Susan
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